Loved for who I AM

Hello everyone!

I can’t believe it’s been two months since I found out I had Lyme disease…it feels like it’s been a year in some ways yet at the same time only a day.

I wanted to update all of you how my recovery is going 🙂 The first round of treatment went well. By well I mean we’re definitely killing Lyme, but also not great in I went through a lot of uncomfortable detoxing side effects in the process – headaches, fevers, brain fog, insomnia, the works. However, if that’s what’s needed to get this disease out of me…bring it on!!

This past week I had a checkup with my holistic chiropractor Dr. Bengston. With his muscle-testing we discovered that the tincture herbal drink we used for the first round killed the two strains (Borrelia and Babesia) of Lyme outside the Biofilm (an outer covering that hides Lyme from my immune system). Some of the bugs in my gut have this ‘protection’ and some don’t. With the first treatment, the immune system was able to detect the bugs without the biofilm/covering as an enemy and killed them.

Sorry if that was confusing…but in summary this checkup proved that I’m heading in the right direction and slowly but surely killing the Lyme. Yay!!

However, we also discovered during the checkup that I have lots of bugs left within the Biofilm. Three strains of Lyme (Borrelia, Babesia and Bartonella) as well as co-infections (not sure which ones yet) are wreaking havoc in my gut. This was a bit discouraging because I had hoped the first round would kill most of them, but apparently not. :/

For the second round of treatment we will continue to target the bugs outside of Biofilm with the tincture drink (just in case there’s any left), as well as adding an enzyme that will strip the outer covering/Biofilm from the other bugs within my gut.

In other words, we’re going to unveil ALL of the bugs to my immune system. This part of treatment is going to be the hardest, and most likely slowest, because unleashing all of the bugs will make it like World War 3 inside my body.

I couldn’t be more excited to get this out of me though. To have energy again, to be more productive, to feel like myself (!!).

Throughout all of this, my spirits have been mostly at ease. I definitely have had days when I feel extremely discouraged and weak, wishing I could do all of the things I want to and wondering when that will be. But I’ve also had days where I feel at peace about my situation, thanking God for everything He is doing behind-the-scenes and enjoying the little things that life has to offer.

One of those little things has been my cat Peter Pan. I’m not a cat lady by any means (I prefer dogs), but seriously…his snuggles and relentless purring are such a comfort to me. Just look at those eyes!!😻😻

Things like this have been like little bandaids to the wounds of my heart. Sure they won’t heal it completely (God will in His own timing), but they definitely make the dark days brighter:)

As I continue to heal, the verse in Matthew 15:24 that says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me,” becomes more and more evident in my life. Everyday that I don’t have the energy or willpower to do the things I want, I die to the desires of my flesh. I choose over my emotions and force myself to be still while He is at work.

I had been planning on doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) through YWAM this September, but because of my sickness I decided to postpone going until January.

Having to delay this, to delay ‘starting’ my life and having an amazing experience was a huge disappointment for me. In so many ways I felt ready and prepared to go be a DOER of the Word, not just a HEARER (James 1:22). But I realized that I could still do that at home, while I was healing.

Even if I’m laying on the couch all day just watching movies and going on my laptop, I am obeying what God has apportioned this season to be for me: HEALING AND REST.

How counter-cultural is that??

Especially here in the US, people learn that they are loved by what they DO and not for who they ARE. But God has told me multiple times that He would love me just the same even if I didn’t do one more significant thing in my life; that I am loved for who I AM. But that can be so hard for me to wrap my mind around.

Especially right now when I have countless things on my to-do list of what I WISH I could accomplish right now but can’t. But God is telling me that those things aren’t for this particular season.

And man is that hard for me to accept. But hey…baby steps!!

I’ve been wrestling with God these past couple weeks why He hasn’t healed me. I think of all the wonderful things I could be doing instead and can’t comprehend why God wouldn’t want me doing them. They’re all good, and (in my opinion) they’re all better than Lyme disease…so why wouldn’t God heal me and let me do those things??

I don’t know. But I do believe that this season is far more valuable than I could ever imagine; that God is molding me more into a better version of myself. That He is teaching me I am loved for who I am in Him. And I wouldn’t be learning that if I was healthy.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” -‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1-4‬ ‭

One incredible upside: I was praying for purpose during this time a couple weeks ago when God gave me an idea. As a person with an achiever personality who feels like they NEED purpose and will go crazy without it, I was desperate for anything. But God gifted me something amazing! To start a YouTube channel about following Jesus.

This YouTube channel Abound and Abide (the same name as this blog) has already been blessing me like crazy. I’ve been learning so much from diving into His Word and by teaching others about what I’ve gone through and what I’m going through right now.

I wanted to share with you all on here because I’m going to be much more active on YouTube than my blog. I have a real passion for photography, and have actually found to really enjoy editing(!!), and it’s become a perfect challenge for this season.

I will be posting on there 1-3 times a week about testimonies, tips and tricks, and different wisdom I’ve learned. I am sooo excited for you all to see it!

I’ve already posted 3 videos, and a couple days ago I posted this one about what it’s like to have a Chronic Illness. This video is so dear to my heart bc it’s relevant to my ups and downs TODAY; to what God is teaching me right now.

Even though I’m incredibly excited for this, God has been teaching me to slow down. That like I said before, I am loved for WHO I AM and I don’t need to be posting content for Him to love me.

If it was only so easy to just believe that and be on my way….!

But like anything, life is a journey. Cliche I know, but seriously.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

This post ended up a lot longer than I was expecting, so if you’ve made it this far thanks for sticking around lol:)

I could still use prayer (let’s be real…I always could use prayer lol) for prayers of perseverance and strength through this season. Especially the last couple days I’ve struggled with feeling lonely, comparing myself to others and getting downright sick and tired of being sick and tired. All things I know that God doesn’t want or have for me.

If you yourself have any prayer requests, feel free to comment below!

Also, my family recently discovered that my mom also has Lyme disease, and we think my sister does too. In the Midwest area it is infamously common, and if you have some health issues already I would not be surprised if you have it.

Here are some common symptoms:

  • Joint pain
  • Headaches/migraines
  • Night sweats
  • Insomnia
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle aches or soreness
  • Brain fog
  • Fevers
  • Hot flashes
  • Depression

If you think you or any of your friends have it…seriously. Check it out. Find a Lyme specialist or wholistic chiropractor near you who can test you for it. It’s better to be safe now than dealing with a whole monster of issues a couple years down the road. And if you have any questions, feel free to comment them below!

Thanks so much for reading and supporting me in this process of healing.

God bless and God be with you!

– Kalli Charles

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Abound in Hope. Abide in Love.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the holy spirit you may abound in hope.” -Romans 15:13 ⠀

“And now abide in faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.” -1 Corinthians 13:13

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